Diving is supposed to be fun !

I have been out of the water for nine days now and I will not be diving tomorrow. Being on a diving trip and not diving sounds and feels wrong in so many ways! I did three dives shortly after arriving. After the last two relatively easy dives, over two days, I was exhausted.  My left leg was hurting after my last giant stride entry. That on its own was reason enough to take two slow days. With slow I mean, in bed, surrounded by my reef guides to see how much of what I saw I could remember and identify. It was raining heavily with no sign of it easing up soon.

Pushing myself for a year and a half preparing to qualify as an Open Water Diver, with my mobility limitations and then proceeding to do two SSI Speciality courses in the last 4 months, taking time off was reasonable, possibly essential.  There was also planning the two month solo trip and organising everything and everyone that I left at home with my husband!

On top of that, the initial motivation for the trip, namely volunteering on a coral restoration project, was put on hold. We re-evaluated my position and decided that I should proceed as booked. Upon arrival I was ready to push forward into my next SSI qualification. Then the rain and my gut feel stopped me. I was adapting to my first solo travel trip in decades, living alone on a survival budget as well as taking care of every step I take, not to injure myself and limit my mobility further. I was exhausted.

As my down time started, I received notice from Home Exchange that my free guest point booking for my next month’s stay was cancelled by the hostess. I found myself with my laptop on my lap doing admin, corresponding, looking for alternative accommodation, waiting for Customer Services to revert with possible replacement properties. They gave me a budget for the cancelled 23 day stay and advised me to start looking for alternative accommodation too.  

After two days and two nights surfing the internet, they confirmed that I should proceed to book a suitable property offering free cancelation.  I decided to advise my landlord of the situation I found myself in. I was still booked with him for two weeks. Within 12 hours I was packed up and assisted to move to a more comfortable apartment in the same building, for the rest of my booked stay and at a minimal extra cost. This apartment also happens to be available for the whole period that I need it for. I would not have to move again!

My new space is flooded with light through several large windows. The living area is quite stylish with its light furniture and bright scatter cushions. The integrated cream coloured kitchen has me cooking. The separate bedroom and larger bathroom suddenly feels extremely luxurious! My anxiety that built up ceased immediately as the local feral cat came to sharpen her nails on my doormat and a yellow butterfly fluttered peacefully in front of my door. I booked the flat for the rest of my stay, paying with my emergency funds and trusting that I will be able to sort out the ongoing admin with Home Exchange to receive my refund timeously.

The rain has not ceased, although it has been more sporadic at times, allowing me to do quick grocery shops. I have been on my own for days, apart from two visits from friends who seemed to bring better weather with them! I am extremely surprised at how content I am. During the first few rainy days in my previous space, I was ready to join the gym just to get out of the flat! Now I have an awareness that my time here may have less to do with diving and coral conservation than I thought. What I will experience, will be life changing. Feeling more rested now, I am again considering a further scuba course. However learning to be alone and happy with my own company may just be the most important test I will ever pass.

So yes! My next dive may very well be after a beached two week dry spell. In Scuba it is stressed that should you for whatever reason not feel comfortable to dive – Call it off. It is not worth risking your safety when it does not feel right to be underwater. My exhaustion, the unfavourable weather conditions and the stress of finding and moving into new accommodation was enough to make me feel uncomfortable.  The best thing I could do was not to dive. After all, diving is supposed to be fun!